Embracing Acceptance: The Toughest Lesson I Learned as an Adult
And the 10 Empowering Lessons Acceptance Brought That Transformed My Leadership Journey
Getting the News
It’s February 2025—just over a year since my unexpected departure from my last role, where I had spent 12.5 years building a career, a team, and a professional identity that felt deeply intertwined with who I was.
Now, I sit in my home office, embracing the quiet of a new year, reflecting on how I made it through one of the biggest transitions of my life. The uncertainty, the loss, the questions—none of it was easy, but all of it changed me.
A year ago, for the first time since I was 15, I found myself in an unfamiliar place: unemployed. How did this happen?
On the afternoon of Tuesday, November 7, 2023—a day that started like any other—I was informed that, due to a restructuring, my position was being made redundant.
I remember that moment viscerally. My body flushed with a wave of emotions—shock, fear, frustration, anxiety—hitting all at once. My nervous system kicked into overdrive, torn between fighting the decision or facing it. My mind wanted to argue, challenge the logic, and demand an explanation. But my gut? It already knew.
The decision was fait accompli.
And if I was being honest with myself, I had subconsciously sensed something looming for months. The best use of my energy was to calm my nervous system and think about how best to navigate the next steps.
In what felt like a blink of an eye, twelve years of commitment, countless hours of dedication to a place, to the cultivation of an identity, to a work “family” and the deep connections I had built with colleagues, was suddenly no more… I was launched into a process of personal reckoning, professional transformation, and some of the hardest (but most valuable) lessons I would ever learn.
“12 years of commitment, countless hours of dedication to a place, to the cultivation of an identity, to a work “family” and the deep connections I had built with colleagues, was suddenly no more…”Processing the Decision
After the meeting, I was given the option to take the rest of the day off to process the news. Instead, I chose to honour my commitments.
I had planned to attend the Long Service Award Gala in Victoria the following day—an event that meant a great deal to me. It was my opportunity to recognize and personally thank employees for their 5, 10, 15 years of service—people who had dedicated themselves to the organization just as I had. I couldn’t imagine not being there.
So, I stuck to my plans. It was my way of maintaining agency, of holding onto my dignity in the midst of uncertainty.
To my surprise, I remained rather stoic throughout the rest of the day. I took the ferry to Vancouver Island, watching the ocean roll beneath me, feeling the enormity of what had just happened but not yet allowing myself to fully process it.
That night, however, was different.
When I arrived at my hotel, the weight of it all hit me like a ton of bricks. I sat on the edge of the bed, and for the first time since that afternoon, I let the tears come. And they didn’t stop.
“When I arrived at my hotel, the weight of it all hit me like a ton of bricks.”
The impact of the decision that I had temporarily suppressed was extremely difficult to accept… It would mean accepting so much I wasn’t prepared to yet…
With it came an enormous sense of shame, embarrassment, loss of identity, and concern about how best to navigate the next steps.
I cried out of grief—for the role, the relationships, the version of my life I had expected to continue.
I cried out of frustration—for the way it unfolded, for not being in control.
I cried out of ego—because no matter how seasoned a leader I was, part of me felt discarded.
My mind raced, searching for flaws in the decision. I should have seen this coming.
😡“As VP of Operations, directly and indirectly responsible for managing over 1500 employees, I should have been consulted…”
“I should have had a say in a structural move with so much consequence.”
“I should have seen it coming”
“I should have!
I should have…
I should…
I…”
😔
😥
My mind raced and raced, until it had nowhere else to go.
I had to sit with the decision and begin the process of accepting.
That night, I was incredibly fortunate to have my partner on the phone with me—holding space for me, grounding me, reminding me that this moment, as painful as it was, was not the end.
It was, perhaps, a beginning.
Accepting what I could control and Trusting The Universe for the rest
Over the course of the last few years, I reflected on the evolving direction of the business and how it aligned with my long-term professional goals and personal growth. As I assessed my path forward, I considered whether this remained the right environment for me to contribute meaningfully and sustainably.
But practicality weighed just as heavily.
At the end of the day, I was an executive responsible for operational effectiveness, indirectly involved in shaping vision and culture. And beyond my professional role, I had a family to support. Walking away wasn’t a simple decision.
I found myself caught in an ongoing dialogue with myself:
Who would I be if not attached to the identity I had built here?
How would I earn a living?
What kind of work could truly integrate these evolving parts of me—the leader I was becoming?
But I love my job and my amazing team and the people, the purpose we served, how can I leave that behind?
Would I find something that felt right again?
The longer these questions lingered, the louder they became. What started as a quiet murmur turned into a constant inner debate, making it more and more difficult to ignore.
I never expected things to unfold the way they did, yet looking back, a part of me viscerally felt this moment had been coming. In many ways, I had already been preparing—spiritually, emotionally—for a change I couldn’t fully articulate yet.
With one hand, the universe closed a chapter of my life—one that had shaped my identity for so long. And with the other, it placed in my path a partner who could hold space for me, remind me of my worth, and reassure me that something better, something more aligned, was ahead.
The same universe.
Guiding and teaching with one hand.
Uplifting and offering grace with the other.
The same universe.
Guiding and teaching with one hand.
Uplifting and offering grace with the other.This realization became my anchor during moments of panic, grief, and uncertainty. If I could trust the intelligence of the universe in what it had taken away, could I also trust in what it was bringing me?
I had no other choice but to surrender—to let go of what I could no longer control and lean into what was ahead.
I had no other choice but to surrender—to let go of what I could no longer control and lean into what was ahead.Lessons Learned
As difficult as my experience was, it taught me some of the most invaluable lessons about self-worth, resilience, leadership, and personal growth—lessons that I now carry forward and feel are worth sharing.
1. Accepting What You Cannot Control
One of the hardest lessons I’ve learned is that, no matter how much effort we put in, we can’t control everything—personally or professionally. Decisions will sometimes be made without our input or even against our wishes, and no amount of resistance will change the outcome. But what we can control is our response.
When I was let go, I chose to stay calm and composed. Instead of dwelling on what I couldn’t change, I focused on what I could—how I carried myself, how I moved forward, and how I preserved my integrity in the face of adversity. That choice made an enormous difference to how I processed the news.
2. The Power of Self-Reflection
In the aftermath of my termination, and in the solitude of my hotel room where I allowed myself to grieve, I was acknowledging and processing the range of my emotions, not suppressing them. This was a crucial step towards transcending them. Allowing the feelings to come forward helped me understand the depth of my attachment to my work, the identity I had built around that role, our mission in helping our patients and customers, my team and the people I care very deeply about. Without understanding how attached I was, I could not set the stage for a healthy detachment and healing to commence.
3. Leaning on Support Networks
During this difficult time, I was fortunate to have the unwavering support of loved ones. A new partner stood by me with compassion and understanding, and alongside my children, family, and closest friends, reminded me of the importance of being surrounded by people who uplift and love you. Their encouragement gave me the space to heal and regain my footing.
At the same time, I was reminded of the unique role our professional networks play in times of transition. Work friends, mentors, and colleagues not only provided guidance but also opened doors to new opportunities, proving that while careers may shift, the relationships we build along the way hold lasting value. Having both—those who hold space for you personally and those who rally for you professionally—makes all the difference in navigating the unexpected.
4. Embracing Change with Resilience
Unexpected change has a way of testing us in ways we don’t anticipate. When I faced an unexpected career transition, I felt the weight of uncertainty, but I also realized something crucial—resistance wouldn’t change the situation, but my response could.
I won’t pretend it was easy, but choosing to adapt rather than dwell on what was lost shifted everything. It pushed me to rethink my next steps, uncover opportunities I hadn’t considered, and lean into personal growth in ways I wouldn’t have otherwise.
Looking back, I see that change isn’t just something to endure—it’s something to work with. And while we don’t always get a say in what happens, we always have a say in how we move forward.
5. Taking Pride in the Legacy of your Work.
Looking back, one of my greatest accomplishments that gave me tremendous comfort during the hard times was knowing I had assembled and nurtured a team of dedicated, high-performing individuals and left behind a highly capable group of future leaders whose positive impacts would ripple through the organization's future. This I learned over time was one of my super powers and no one could strip me of this gift, even after departing the organization.
Knowing I had nurtured a team of high-performing individuals and left behind a highly capable group of future leaders whose positive impacts would ripple through the organization's future gave me tremendous comfort during the hard times...no one could strip me of this...6. Embracing Uncertainty as an Opportunity
Facing the unknown is inherently daunting. Losing a job that was a cornerstone of my identity thrust me into deeply unfamiliar territory. However, this uncertainty also presented an opportunity for growth and reinvention. It compelled me to reevaluate my goals and aspirations, opening doors to possibilities I might not have considered otherwise. For example, I would have never considered a life of entrepreneurship but shortly after my departure I began entertaining the idea of starting my own health care consultancy and building programs to train leaders to operationalize the kinds of values I would like to see more in organizations.
7. Trusting the Journey
I have come to believe that every experience, no matter how challenging, serves a deeper purpose. Trusting in the journey and having faith that the future holds something better has been instrumental in maintaining a positive and constructive outlook. This mindset has allowed me to move forward with hope and optimism, even when faced with questions that challenge me to my core, or when the path isn't as clear as it used to be.
8. Valuing Self-Worth Beyond Professional Titles
This experience challenged me to reassess my self-worth, realizing that it can't solely be defined by my professional role, especially one that can be taken from me by someone else. My self worth needed to be anchored in attributes that were deeply "me". Embracing self-love allowed me to begin recognizing my inherent skills and values, as a person. This has allowed me to re-construct an identity that is centred and empowering, especially during times of volatility. Re-attachment with self has taught me that my contributions to the world extend beyond any job title.
Re-attachment with self has taught me that my contributions to the world extend beyond any job title.9. The Importance of Self-Care
Taking time to heal and reflect in places that bring me peace has been essential. Whether on Bowen Island for my weekends of reflection or vacationing in Hawaii, surrounded by natural beauty, or walking the natural trails into the mountains of North Vancouver behind my home, all of these environments provided a backdrop to slow down my nervous system and allow for natural introspection and rejuvenation. Slowing down allowed for truth to come forward, and gave me the space for honest inner dialogue, which were the essential ingredients for healing and growth. Prioritizing self-care helped me regain my strength and prepare mentally and emotionally for the next chapter.
Slowing down allowed for truth to come forward, and gave me the space for honest inner dialogue, which were the essential ingredients for healing and growth.10. Moving Forward with the Confidence of Open-heartedness
Although there is always some uncertainty in the future, I now choose to approach it with confidence and an open mind and heart. I am excited about the opportunities that lie ahead and am committed to finding a vocation (be it a role or some other aspect of my profession) that aligns with my core identity and values. I look forward to contributing positively to many organizations that appreciate the authenticity, integrity, and leadership lessons I’ve cultivated over the years.
Conclusion: Beyond Acceptance: The Transition to Self.
I am more free now than ever before.
While the journey has been fraught with challenges, I am grateful for the growth it has spurred.
Whatever comes next, the challenges I’ve faced as a leader have transformed me. I’ve learned more about resilience, self-awareness, and the value of authenticity from facing obstacles than from succeeding seamlessly. I step into the future with confidence and renewed purpose, ready to embrace whatever comes next.
This next chapter is a chance to redefine myself, seek out environments that nourish my soul, and to continue the journey of becoming a better leader and contributor to society. I am eager to see where this new path leads and am confident that the lessons learned will serve me—and hopefully others—well in the years to come.
I'm also making a promise to myself: to show up when things don’t go my way. To sit with my angst, with my feelings of self-doubt or inadequacy, with those narratives of "Why me?" and hear them. Accept them and still know that the path I’m headed on was the best thing that could have happened to me. I may not feel it at this moment, but I trust the universe. I trust my inside voice. I trust my own heart. And I trust the process that the future will only be brighter than today and this moment. This is just the growth and uncomfortable phase that I have to face in order to get to the next chapter of my journey.
Maybe now it's time for me to get uncomfortable, to go into the unknown and define my new chapter, my new home, so that I can transform again into another person and continue my journey of self-discovery in my personal life and the workplace.
“Now it's time for me to get uncomfortable, to go into the unknown and define my new chapter, my new home, so that I can transform again into another person and continue my journey of self-discovery in my personal life and the workplace.”